I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
