DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
