I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
