y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
