So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
