Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
