yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
