i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
