I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
