I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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