Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
