She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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