Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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