all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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