xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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