the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
