ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
