we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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