Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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