I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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