Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
