i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
