the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I wish there were birth control emojis
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
