Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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