so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
