Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
