Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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