i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
