nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
