you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
