I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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