I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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