I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
