thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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