his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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