she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
