I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
