FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
