oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
