have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
