I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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