im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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