It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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