whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
