I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
