By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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