I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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