i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
