the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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