The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
